“That is a fantastic mustache”: Killers

A perfect example of how important the script is to a movie:  this film has a crazy long list of funny people in it–Catherine O’Hara, Rob Riggle, Martin Mull, Alex Bornstein, Mary Birdsong, I could keep going; there are a lot –but it is only mildly funny at best.

I will give credit where credit is due, though.  Ashton Kutcher is really funny, and it’s a good thing, because he has to make up for Katherine Heigl’s complete lack of comedic timing or ability to say lines to get any sort of humor out of it.

On a somewhat related rant, the only reason anyone even thinks she is funny is because Judd Apatow was kind enough to let her work for him in Knocked Up, to which she responded by slapping pretty much everyone else who worked on the movie in the face with insults.  I beg you.  Watch Knocked Up again.  Tell me how many times Katherine Heigl is funny.  Not how many times the people around her are funny.  How many times is she actually funny?  And how many of those times is she improvising?  The answers to those questions are very few and zero, respectively.  So, a plea to all filmmakers, STOP casting her in comedies.  She will ruin your funny.

Back to this sub-par rom-com.  I had very low expectations going into it, so it surprised me when it did, in fact, hold my attention.  Even more than that, it was entertaining.  Funny, only mildly, but entertaining nonetheless.   It was also different than I expected.  I thought it would be a movie where they meet & as he sweeps her off her feet, it becomes clear that he is a hired assassin.  I was wrong.

It does start off as I thought it would; she is vacationing in France with her parents when she meets him and he does sweep her off her feet.  They’re in France for a couple of weeks, I guess (they’re sort of vague), but everything happens really quickly.  Twenty minutes into it, they’re in love and she still has no idea what he does for a living.  He tells everyone he’s a consultant who consults for businesses and things.  He then gets out of the killing business to start a new, normal life with her.  Fast forward to three years later when they’re living their normal life together and things start to go crazy when his past life starts catching up with him.

There are lots of lines that should have been funny, but delivered by Heigl are nothing.  Kutcher is surprisingly great at the action scenes.  (He’s not my type, normally, but he’s sort of dreamy in this movie.  Also, I had no idea he was so… muscley.)  Tom Selleck is awesome.  Catherine O’Hara is awesome.  It was still just an okay movie.

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