The optimist in me, however, desperately wanted to like The Six Wives of Henry Lefay because it has Tim Allen in it. I just couldn’t do it.
In the first three minutes, Henry (Tim Allen) dies while parasailing in Mexico. Elisha Cuthbert plays his daughter, who hates him. When she finds out he died, she has a 20 minute flashback to the last time she saw her father. He was married to a girl she used to play softball with, having sex with his 2nd and 4th ex-wife (played by Jenna Elfman), and planning on getting married to yet another girl–Cuthbert’s enemy from high school. If you’re confused and uninterested, you’re not alone.
I gave this movie 30 minutes, which is a lot considering it’s only 94 minutes long. I officially gave up, though, when Cuthbert’s last interaction with her dad before he died ended with her–a grown-ass woman–yelling, “I don’t ever want to see your stupid face again.” That pretty much sums up what I was feeling, but replace the word “face” with “movie.”
It didn’t help that I can’t stand Elisha Cuthbert. She is a terrible actress with absolutely no timing or visible emotions whatsoever. At the one-third mark, I still didn’t know what was supposed to be happening. I didn’t know what I was supposed to want. I didn’t know what any of the characters wanted. Nothing had happened, and I can never get those 30 minutes of my life back.
I’m sure none of you were ever planning on watching The Six Wives of Henry Lefay, but I must beg you not to, because friends don’t let friends watch terrible movies.