Like the inevitable character in a third of Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, I fear I have lost “The Christmas Spirit.” In hopes of finding it, I will be watching a ridiculous number of Christmas movies on TV. Here is my story…
Snow Bride (2013) Hallmark Channel
-A title sequence where the word “Bride” breaks and falls sideways. How quirky and clumsy!
-A main character who complains about not being able to meet a decent man in LA, yet dismisses a guy because he’s short. Yeah, you’re a real catch yourself, lady.
-Tom Lenk! With a mustache!! In a leather jacket!!!
-A sight gag about parallel parking. Comedy gold!
-10 minutes in, and I’m already lost.
-“You shaved! You don’t look like a protester anymore.” Um, what the actual fuck? Classic Patricia Richardson.
-A lot of lies, which really only confuses me more. I don’t know what’s happening.
All right, a movie about a political family right after a movie about a royal family. I could not finish this. I guess I should read the blurb BEFORE watching it.
Deeply offensive & no coherent plot line