Snow Bride (2013) Hallmark Channel

Like the inevitable character in a third of Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, I fear I have lost “The Christmas Spirit.”  In hopes of finding it, I will be watching a ridiculous number of Christmas movies on TV.  Here is my story…

snowbride

 

Snow Bride (2013) Hallmark Channel

 

Includes:

-A title sequence where the word “Bride” breaks and falls sideways.  How quirky and clumsy!

-A main character who complains about not being able to meet a decent man in LA, yet dismisses a guy because he’s short.  Yeah, you’re a real catch yourself, lady.

-Tom Lenk!  With a mustache!!  In a leather jacket!!!

-A sight gag about parallel parking.  Comedy gold!

-10 minutes in, and I’m already lost.

-“You shaved!  You don’t look like a protester anymore.”  Um, what the actual fuck?  Classic Patricia Richardson.

-A lot of lies, which really only confuses me more.  I don’t know what’s happening.

 

Review:

All right, a movie about a political family right after a movie about a royal family.  I could not finish this.  I guess I should read the blurb BEFORE watching it.

 

Rating:

0/10
Deeply offensive & no coherent plot line

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