Meet the Santas (2005) Hallmark Channel

Like the inevitable character in a third of Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, I fear I have lost “The Christmas Spirit.”  In hopes of finding it, I will be watching a ridiculous number of Christmas movies on TV.  Here is my story…

MeetTheSantas

 

Meet the Santas (2005)  Hallmark Channel

 

Includes:

-The same bad guy… but this time he’s going to turn on them.  I can feel it.

– A haircut for ole SG; no more curls. And some decidedly thinner cable knit sweaters to show off his pecs, plus a pair of good old boot cut jeans.  It’s almost like he saw himself on TV last year & realized he didn’t HAVE to look like he had been in a coma since 1993.

-A completely nonsensical plot.  They’re trying to put some urgency & conflict in this story, but it makes no sense whatsoever.

-Matching track suits.

-“We aren’t serving chicken, we’re serving pheasant, because no one wants poultry around Christmas.”  Girlfriend, I have some bad news for you…

-A scene where he talks about giving gifts, but like, VERY seductively.  I’m not totally sure he’s talking about Christmas presents, but if this is a euphemism, this is FAR TOO adult for a Hallmark movie.

-A wedding dress that is supposed to be a tacky mess, but honestly, I’m not mad at it.

-A traditional southern family who DOESN’T know the superstition about the groom not seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding?  I don’t think so.

-A Santa whose belly full of jelly is almost certainly simply a pillow underneath his shirt.  Good work, costume department.

-A bunch of people saying things like, “Wow, I wonder how the guy named Nick Claus who looks like Santa knows my name and what I got for Christmas in 1947?!”

 

Review:

They just kept making plot points that didn’t make any sense, & Steve Guttenberg went in hard and heavy with his Santa “ho ho ho” laugh.  I fast forwarded through most of it.

 

Rating:

3/10

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