Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus (2004) Hallmark Channel

Like the inevitable character in a third of Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, I fear I have lost “The Christmas Spirit.”  In hopes of finding it, I will be watching a ridiculous number of Christmas movies on TV.  Here is my story…

singlesanta

 

Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus (2004) Hallmark Channel

 

Includes:

-Steve Guttenberg.  There was no way I WASN’T going to watch this.

 

-That one guy who is ALWAYS the bad guy, except he’s Santa’s “right hand man.”  Watch out!  He’s going to turn out to be a bad guy!

 

-A crotchety Mrs. Claus?!  Honestly, these writers think the woman married to Santa would be annoyed by toys?  What an original concept of wifedom.

 

-The chunkiest cable knit sweater known to man.

 

-Uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  Steve G./Future Santa has the power of glamouring people (a la True Blood vampires).  THIS WON’T GET CREEPY OR GROSS OR PROBLEMATIC AT ALL, I’M SURE.

 

-A montage of SG going door-to-door to “find his future Mrs. Claus.”  I have sooooo many questions.

 

-The bad guy creeping in a tree in the middle of a park in broad daylight.

 

-OH MY GOD, a reference to “The Art of the Deal.”  Barf.  Although, it was used disparagingly.  (We’ve always known 45 was a flaming pile of garbage.)

 

-Somehow, a mispronunciation of “ice cream.”  He puts the emphasis on “cream.”  “Now, where does your mother keep the chocolate ice CREAM?”  What?!

 

-Him: “I’m not usually this smooth.”

Her:  “I thought you were Cary Grant.”

Him: “I’m not even Hugh Grant.”

First of all, damn, putting Hugh Grant on blast for no reason.  Second of all, understatement of the millennium?

 

Review:

Okay, this is gross.  It has a lot of vaguely problematic moments in relation to views of women/girls & how to be in romantic relationships.  But I will give it this:  Steve Guttenberg is just the right amount of nonthreatening, sensitive guy to play a pretty adorable Santa-in-training.

 

Rating:

4/10

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s