Like the inevitable character in a third of Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, I fear I have lost “The Christmas Spirit.” In hopes of finding it, I will be watching a ridiculous number of Christmas movies on TV. Here is my story…
The Sweetest Christmas (2017) Hallmark
-Lacy Chabert; my first movie starring her, which is surprising, because she is in a third of the Hallmark movies
-The boyfriend at the beginning of the movie (which means he’s The Wrong Guy!) is so bad at making coffee, watching him try to use a Keurig is like watching an As Seen On TV commercial.
-A sassy black friend (but this time, it’s a man!)
-A plot that is about a woman literally figuring out/deciding WHAT KITCHEN SHE WILL USE
-I think The Wrong Guy is becoming sentient and slowly realizing he is a character in a Hallmark Christmas movie. Is this going to turn into a Xmas version of The Truman Show? BRB, I have to go write that movie.
-The Right Guy describes decorating for Christmas with his son as, “Two dudes decorating alone. Is there anything more sad?” The rest of the world would call that good parenting, but yeah, why would you want to do the right thing if a woman who might fuck you isn’t there to see it? If a tree falls in the woods, ya know?
-The requisite sexy snowball fight!
-“Is that edible stained glass?!” Yeah, stupid. It’s called sugar.
Stupid. Boring. No.