A Christmas Melody (2015) Hallmark Channel

Like the inevitable character in a third of Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, I fear I have lost “The Christmas Spirit.”  In hopes of finding it, I will be watching a ridiculous number of Christmas movies on TV.  Here is my story…

christmasmelody

A Christmas Melody (2015)  Hallmark Channel

Includes:

-Lacey Chabert—expected. Kathy Najimy—what a delight.  Mariah Carey—I cannot wait!!!

-A very visible strip of bleached skin on Lacey’s upper lip.  What’s better:  a mustache or a bright white absence of a mustache?  I mean, I get it—TRUST—but really makeup artist?!

-The blurriest “soft focus” lens for Mariah’s close ups.

-Mariah Carey’s wobbly accent & speech impediment.  Who knew?

-Mariah Carey playing NEITHER the main character NOR the music teacher.  She is an uber diva stage mom.  I wonder how much of this is acting.

-A school janitor who will turn out to be the Real Santa Claus.  Calling it now.

-THREE slow zoom close ups of a can of Folgers coffee.

-I swear to god, if Mariah doesn’t sing in this…

 

Review:

Can you tell that I watched this movie for literally one reason, and one reason only?  If I had watched this on the first day, or even the 7th day, I would have really liked this.  It’s pretty good, but 15 days in, and my brain is oozing out of my ears.  So I fast forwarded through about a third of it.

 

Rating:

7/10

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